Spring Fling

my overall mood is about to change. i may very well have permagrin until october. why? spring is in the air. sure, it's supposed to snow AGAIN here in 5280 this weekend, but the rituals of spring are undeniably underway. of course i'm talking about baseball spring training, and a season of renewed hope for my beloveds on the north side.

cubs opening day is a mere 37 days away (but who's counting...oh, i am. ) and i couldn't be happier. this is easily my favorite time of year, when the boys of summer come in to save us from the doldrums of winter, to fill the january/february void left by the gridiron gladiators. certainly college basketball does an admirable job, but baseball is a 9 month obsession for some of us, and the one constant in life from february to early november.

though i'm a die-hard cub fan, i'll not be in cincinnati this year for opening day, nor in chicago for the home opener. i'll be watching on tv...most likely from the lodo launching pad, a.k.a. coors field. no, i'm not a full blown rockies fan, but it's baseball. at least for opening day, the name on the front of the jersey isn't as important as simply being in the park, hearing the phrase "play ball."

oh, i'm also taking bets on how mark prior gets injured this year.

Snowy Logic

only a few months after 3 experienced climbers died on the same mountain, 3 climbers in a party of 8 were rescued when the fell off a ledge on oregon's mt. hood. while i'm sure the families are thankful (and so am i that we don't have to read about how tragic this event was for months down the line), this really begs the question, "why do people keep trying to climb this mountain in the middle of the winter?!"

mountains are geological and topographical marvels that have been around for millenia, epochs, or even eons. why, then, can't these people just wait till summer to climb the damned thing? i'd bet money on the odds that the mountain is still there come july.

I'm Sorry...This Time I Mean It

when's the best possible time to just shut up? how 'bout after you make an anti-gay remark, then apologize, and then apologize again because you didn't "mean" to say the remark in the first place.

case in point: former NBA star, tim hardaway, he of the famous "killer crossover," told dan lebatard, in response to john amaechi's recent announcement he's gay, on his radio show that he hates gay people and would never want a gay teammate. it's certainly no shock that homophobia is rampant in the NBA, but it's flooring that someone would come straight out and say that he hates gay people.

but, in typical pathetic/contrived-athlete-apology fashion, hardaway said last week that he was sorry he said what he did, and that he shouldn't have said anything at all. only a week later--after the NBA all-star game from which he was banned, hardaway told a miami television station that he didn't "mean" to use the word 'hate.' right, just like reverend ted didn't mean to hook up with a male prostitute and buy meth. hardaway at least should have been smart enough to follow the current PR trend---when you fuck up, tell everyone you're an alcoholic and seek counseling.

it's funny how pertinent that whole everything i need to know i learned in kindergarten thing really is. hardaway would have done well to remember a simple rule we all learned when we were young: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all--and mean it.

Fig Newton

let me start with an admission: i've never been to las vegas. someday i'll go. but in my almost 28 years on earth, i've yet to have the opportunity, means, or real desire to go. but, i do know a few things about vegas: what happens there tends to stay there and they want a professional sports team at some point to legitimize the city.

i've also noticed that mr. las vegas, wayne newton, can't sing for shit. you want a pro sports team? you want to be a real city rather than a freak show/distraction town? then find someone more culturally relevant than wayne newton. it would also help if that person could sing better than the drunkards at the karaoke lounge down the street or a coked-out buddy israel. i hear britney's not busy these days.

We're Not in Kansas Anymore

evolution, creationsism, intelligent design...now evolution again. the kansas board of education, most famous for its part in brown v. ks board of ed. (1954), has repealed the public school guidelines for teaching intelligent design that brought about intense ridicule 2 years ago. obviously, this decision has really pissed off the religious right, which is reason enough for me to support the decision (aside from the fact that intelligent design is just dumb).

but with flip flopping of such epic proportions (the 4th change in guidelines in 8 years), i'm both amazed and thankful that national elections somehow haven't been decided (yet) by the kansas vote. at least the excuses in ohio and florida for ruining the country, fraud and old people, are more plausible than simple indecision. good grief.

Katrina and the Waves

not to kick a man while he's lying under a pile of rubble, but some of those hardest hit by hurricane katrina in 2005 got slammed by what appears to be a tornado. as expected, the twister hit a trailer park near new orleans...which happened to be populated by FEMA trailers.

at some point, don't you just have to think maybe it's time to move?