Saturday, December 29, 2007

Visitors

seems posting once every 7 days has become my thing. so here goes.....


wu and the clan (and by clan i mean the significant other and no one else) finally made his way to 5280 for a visit. many a friend has found their way to paradise, and now he has too. so, in true old friend fashion, he and the gf, me and greg and his gf (mine was in KS at the time) headed out for a night on the town.

aside from the fact it's midwest cold in denver right now (believe me, completely out of the ordinary for us), we set out on our adventure in LoDo. our first stop was the falling rock tap, home to 65 beers on tap and others available by bottle. it's a totally chill atmosphere where you can have a conversation, not be bothered, and have some truly great beer (sam smith, this is a kudos to you, my friend).

we decided to leave and check out something else, growing weary of the quiet ambience of the rock. hiking 6 blocks to lime in 12 degree weather (where greg was whining like a little girl child the whole way about being cold), we arrived at the destination, knowing also that my old soccer buddy sarah was there with some of her friends (sidebar: she and i talked for all of 3 combined mintues, and she didn't bother to even come over and hang out before leaving. understand that there will be a conversation about this to follow. stay tuned for updates).

the bar/club was loud but intimate. there was hip hop music playing, but no dancing to be found. golden. dance clubs are for losers and well dressed people who are still losers but just don't know it yet. we found a cozy little corner booth, rounded and secluded, of course, and settled in for some drinks and conversation (strained by the fact the dj was right behind us and the speakers right to the side). regardless, it was an enjoyable time. as wu stated, "sometimes it's not about where you're at as much as it is who you're with." agreed. 100% even.

i was running low on drink, so i mosied up to the bar, where i was to be ignored for a full 5 minutes. in the intervening time, there was still some entertainment to be found. a tall, somewhat attractive (we'll call her a "butterface") girl was dancing with some dude right next to me. she did one of those girly hair flips. ya know, the one that says, "take me home and nail me cuz i'm a dirty whore" kind of hair flips. only difference in this one is that this time her hair caught me square in my opened, alert right eye. seriously, have you ever been struck in the eye by something as stringy as hair? it fucking hurts. brooke can vouch for the story.

when i regained full sight and function in said eye, the unbelievable occurred. yes, i was STILL waiting for my god damned drink (apparently beer has to be brewed, aged and bottled prior to ordering), a tall guy, very metrosexual and likely of the homo variety was standing next to me. i really have no problem with gays or metros, since i work with many of the former and my girlfriend wants me to become the latter. but this guy was just a bit odd. facing forward, squarely focused on the bartender (a stupid bimbo whore if i'd ever seen one), i felt fingers in my hair. i knew greg and wu weren't near me. i was certain that neither of their gf's would be so blatantly hitting on me as their guys (and my friends) were in close proximity. this was the work of a stranger.

the fingers primped, prepped and perfected my hair. as i turned to look to see what was happening, tall skinny metro-homo guy was fixing my hair telling me, "now it's perfect. don't tell anyone." um, WHAT?!?? i didn't know whether i should be offended, scared, embarrassed or gracious. i said nothing. and wu saw the whole thing in real-time.

i'm straight. let's get that straight. i don't believe--and others have confirmed--that i give off no such homo vibe. so, why on earth did this dude see fit to "fix" my hair for me. granted, there's not a ton left to begin with, so really, how much fixing could it need? it didn't necessarily ruin my night, but it was one of those things that was so unexpected, so bizzare, that when i look back at this night, the one thing i'll remember is some guy in a bar primping me to perfection. if only i were too drunk to remember that it ever occurred....

3 comments:

CJ said...

due to increasing amounts of contemptuous, cynical rants, i decided to stop reading your posts. but, it's stories like this (strange queer men running their fingers through your hair just after giving a handy in the far stall) that keep me coming back every now and then.

i love it. you know you turned to him slowly and raised your brow.

you are so homo.

i wonder if there's a guy named moe that lives in soho. if his friend knows a couple different guys named mo, does the friend refer to this guy as 'soho moe'?

Jeen Yes said...

i thought you stopped reading 'cause your internet got turned off.

vivavavoom said...

don't worry....gay or 'homo' isn't contagious, he was just giving you some 'something about mary' gel. and seriously, maybe he was the bar primper and was making sure all singles were looking their best....kind of the bar version of extreme makeover.

My advice....venture outside of LoDo for a fun time in 2008!
happy new year.