AHHHHHH, Breakdown!

i try never to reveal anything too personal that could be embarrassing. but today is a little different because i experienced something i never have before: a near meltdown.

i'm not really sure what it was--stress at work, impossibly bad relations with women, or the whole grad school thing--but it was surely out of the ordinary. i'm usually a pretty strong cat, with a few hot buttons that get me going. but normally, i'm solid and stoic enough to handle most anything (death, breakups, lies and car accidents included). today, i was just completely inundated with every every emotion, every insecurity or inferiority and every self doubt all at once. and it was just too much to bear at one time. i was overwhelmed and absolutely inconsolable. so, yeah, you could say it kinda sucked.

but now, having done absolutely nothing about it other than inadvertently lashing out at a very close friend, i feel fine. what the fuck? i should get that checked out.