The Rut

damnit, it's happened again. i tried to keep myself occupied. i tried thinking creatively and "outside the box" (jesus, i hate that term), but it's happened again....i've fallen back into a rut. get up, go to work, come home, eat, go to the gym, shower and sleep. 5 days a week, this is my routine and the 2 off days in between are filled with more of the same--minus the going to work thing.

it's affected my ability to write, seeing as how there is so little going on and even less to get the writing juices flowing. i've become numb to the annoyances of the gym. i go through the motions at the office, occasionally waking from my hypnotic state to eek out a reply when i'm being berated by boss and client alike. the only modicum of stimulus in my life right now is the pennant race, one that will surely end in disappointment and heartbreak. i'm a cub fan after all.

i've lost the passion for my bike, which is a thought so outrageous that it kind of hurts my head to try and figure out how it happened. i climbed a 14er a few weeks back, but haven't had the motivation or desire to do it again, even though i like doing it (well, i hate the suffering part of it, but it's fun to tell your friends who couldn't ever imagine doing it).

i've been relegated to living vicariously through the creativity of others, reading with great frequency the musings of hwood, the curly haired girl and her sidekick roonie. a new soccer season is starting in a few weeks. and with all hopes that my ankle will FINALLY be healed enough to play, hopefully that'll jumpstart the ole life blood.

so, maybe i need another change. no, i'm not moving again (unless i get into thunderbird, at which point i'll have to drag myself down to the arizona desert, where my pale ass may very well burn to an actual crisp). maybe i need a new job (working on that as we speak--one that pays significantly more. fingers crossed.). maybe i need new friends, or to just do something completely out of character and stupid. maybe what i need is a friend like crash davis to punch me in the face and snap me out of it. or maybe what i really need is a simple slump buster.

i'm open to suggestions.