1+1= 3

the time has come for me to fulfill my academic potential. i decide a few weeks back, along with my good friend cj, that it was time, finally, to head back to campus and pursue the ever-so-valuable MBA.

over the past couple of weeks, i've been haphazardly studying the sample materials that typically appear on the GMAT, perhaps the worst test ever invented by man, by dedicating exactly half my attention to said samples. naturally, the remaining 50% has been dedicated to people watching while i'm "studying" at my local bookstore/cafe. this week, however, my studies kicked into high gear as i spent the better part of 2 hours per night for 4 nights reading through monotonous lessons and attempting to solve sample problems--with a mere 15% of my attention dedicated elsewhere. not bad for an ADD-head.

while i've been adequately balancing my new job, my addiction to the gym, and my nightly study sessions, i've realized a few things:

realization #1: this college go-around is far more important than my first. this time it actually DOES matter where i go and how i do. there won't be any fraternity parties, though there will surely be plenty of young, tanned and toned coeds. there won't be any "weekends start on thursdays" mentality and, to a lesser degree, there won't be nearly the level of identification with my institution (point of order here, i went to EMU, a school with which i was too embarrassed to truly identify myself. instead, michigan was my identity, as it's a superior school with superior athletics to boot).

reality #2, i suck at math. i mean i REALLLLLLLLY suck. actually, i don't suck. i'm below "sucking" on the math chart of suckiness. i was terrible at math in both high school and in college. now, i've forgotten all the stuff i was so terrible at. so, basically, i have to work my way back to sucking just so i can potentially move beyond that and into the "mediocre" category. fun times.

observation #3: no matter how hard the coursework may be, school is infinitely more entertaining/satisfying than working. i've never been excited about a job. ever. in fact, even the jobs i didn't hate, i still hated simply because i hate working. i'm aware that an MBA will simply lead me to a higher level of job that i may hate, but hell, at least it'll be a nice 2-3 year break from waking up at 6am every morning, heading to an office, and having to fulfill obligations that really hold no interest to me. on the other hand, even knowing how effin hard a graduate program in business will be, i couldn't possibly be more excited about it. aside from pondering how on god's green earth W managed a degree from an ivy league school, my own post-secondary education occupies my mind the most. and chicks. man, how i love chicks. especially the ones with the.....ok, another time.

new fact #4: i'm an ego-maniac and a narcissist. i never really thought much about it before, but it's become increasingly clear to me lately that one of the true leading factors in my decision to go to grad school is that i have a big ego and that i want recognition above and beyond that of others. before, an MBA was just something "i've always wanted to do for myself." now, it's something i kinda need to do to satisfy the craving to have 3 letters after my name and to compete with my friends who possess post-secondary degrees (though only a handful claim MBA's). i also like to be seen with my GMAT book in public. it makes me feel important knowing that the other schlubs in my locale aren't trying to better themselves which, in the end, means i'm better than them. i'm not saying it's a good reason to go (it's not the primary one, so don't worry), but i'm okay with it. anything that furthers my love for myself is fine by me.

pensamiento final (final thought): money really DOES make everything better. i've worked a lot of jobs. i've never made a lot of money. hell, most of the time i'm making just enough to get by. and i grew to hate and/or resent each job over time. now, while an MBA is no guarantee of a high-paying job, it does increase the likelihood of receiving a nice offer over another candidate with a simple bachelor's degree, which means that even though i'm certain to eventually loathe that job too, at least i'll have the financial means to buy a slice of happiness. or a slice of pizza. mmmm, pizza.

so, in the coming year, i plan to leave the undergraduate world a bitter, job-loathing, poverty-stricken individual and emerge in MBA land an egotistical narcissist with money, 3 letters after my name, and i'll be better than 85% of you. can someone cosine on my loan?