Review, Charlie Wilson's War

…in 100 words or less.

The truth. Afghanistan needed help. Congressman to the rescue. $1 million budget raised to $5 million. Then $40 million. Soon to more than $1 billion.

‘80s setting hilarious and nostalgic. Tom Hanks. Boozer, womanizer, fraternizer, smart ass. Funny, smart and entertaining. Scandal ensues due to being seen with smoking hot strippers. Julia Roberts. Not a southern belle. Bad accent, great body. Political dabbler. Über Christian. Phillip Seymour Hoffman made the movie. Wise cracker, intellectual, atheist wannabe hardass. Great cast, excellent script. Historically accurate portrayal of something Americans don’t even know about. Laugh and learn. Oscars all around.

Grade: A/A+

Word count: 97

Visitors

seems posting once every 7 days has become my thing. so here goes.....


wu and the clan (and by clan i mean the significant other and no one else) finally made his way to 5280 for a visit. many a friend has found their way to paradise, and now he has too. so, in true old friend fashion, he and the gf, me and greg and his gf (mine was in KS at the time) headed out for a night on the town.

aside from the fact it's midwest cold in denver right now (believe me, completely out of the ordinary for us), we set out on our adventure in LoDo. our first stop was the falling rock tap, home to 65 beers on tap and others available by bottle. it's a totally chill atmosphere where you can have a conversation, not be bothered, and have some truly great beer (sam smith, this is a kudos to you, my friend).

we decided to leave and check out something else, growing weary of the quiet ambience of the rock. hiking 6 blocks to lime in 12 degree weather (where greg was whining like a little girl child the whole way about being cold), we arrived at the destination, knowing also that my old soccer buddy sarah was there with some of her friends (sidebar: she and i talked for all of 3 combined mintues, and she didn't bother to even come over and hang out before leaving. understand that there will be a conversation about this to follow. stay tuned for updates).

the bar/club was loud but intimate. there was hip hop music playing, but no dancing to be found. golden. dance clubs are for losers and well dressed people who are still losers but just don't know it yet. we found a cozy little corner booth, rounded and secluded, of course, and settled in for some drinks and conversation (strained by the fact the dj was right behind us and the speakers right to the side). regardless, it was an enjoyable time. as wu stated, "sometimes it's not about where you're at as much as it is who you're with." agreed. 100% even.

i was running low on drink, so i mosied up to the bar, where i was to be ignored for a full 5 minutes. in the intervening time, there was still some entertainment to be found. a tall, somewhat attractive (we'll call her a "butterface") girl was dancing with some dude right next to me. she did one of those girly hair flips. ya know, the one that says, "take me home and nail me cuz i'm a dirty whore" kind of hair flips. only difference in this one is that this time her hair caught me square in my opened, alert right eye. seriously, have you ever been struck in the eye by something as stringy as hair? it fucking hurts. brooke can vouch for the story.

when i regained full sight and function in said eye, the unbelievable occurred. yes, i was STILL waiting for my god damned drink (apparently beer has to be brewed, aged and bottled prior to ordering), a tall guy, very metrosexual and likely of the homo variety was standing next to me. i really have no problem with gays or metros, since i work with many of the former and my girlfriend wants me to become the latter. but this guy was just a bit odd. facing forward, squarely focused on the bartender (a stupid bimbo whore if i'd ever seen one), i felt fingers in my hair. i knew greg and wu weren't near me. i was certain that neither of their gf's would be so blatantly hitting on me as their guys (and my friends) were in close proximity. this was the work of a stranger.

the fingers primped, prepped and perfected my hair. as i turned to look to see what was happening, tall skinny metro-homo guy was fixing my hair telling me, "now it's perfect. don't tell anyone." um, WHAT?!?? i didn't know whether i should be offended, scared, embarrassed or gracious. i said nothing. and wu saw the whole thing in real-time.

i'm straight. let's get that straight. i don't believe--and others have confirmed--that i give off no such homo vibe. so, why on earth did this dude see fit to "fix" my hair for me. granted, there's not a ton left to begin with, so really, how much fixing could it need? it didn't necessarily ruin my night, but it was one of those things that was so unexpected, so bizzare, that when i look back at this night, the one thing i'll remember is some guy in a bar primping me to perfection. if only i were too drunk to remember that it ever occurred....

Hiatus

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How is this News?

so, a 10th generation descendant of davey crockett killed a 400 lb. bear today. cool. but is it really worthy of top news billing....on ESPN and FOX sports?! not only is this not news, i'm still trying to figure out how on earth this is sports news. that's what those sites are for, right? it was a slow day in the sports journalism, i guess.

You're Fired!

it was just a matter of time. now, it's happened. i saw a commercial on NBC promoting the next season of "The Apprentice," and sure enough, it's the celebrity version. i may be a bit slow on the take here, but doesn't it seem that anytime a tv show platform starts out wildly successful and then experiences a huge drop off after the network has signed a multi-year contract, the producers automatically resort to putting "celebrities" into the mix in hopes of rekindling our interest? "celebrity fit club," "celebrity jeopardy" (a show i adore), "celebrity wheel of fortune," and the list goes on.

what's next, "Celebrity Extreme Makeover Home Edition?" i can see it now, building a new house for the family of a former superstar who now just gets notoriety for his/her past achievements or his/her current fuck ups. the first 3 episodes would be corey haim, britney spears and gary arnold. should be entertaining.

face it, tv shows have a life cycle just like every other product on earth. it starts small in it's developmental stage, explodes with popularity as it becomes a cash cow, then matures and plateaus, and eventually becomes obsolete, useless and not entertaining. take a hint from other industries, tv execs, when it's time to go, it's just time to go. no celebrity can help you now. you're fired.

Slippery When Wet

dear denver metro drivers:

no, the sky is not falling. that white stuff coming from above is frozen precipitation known locally as "snow." there is no cause for alarm, as the white stuff is nothing to fear. especially when it's the powdery variety and not the heavy, wet, sloshy stuff you typically get in the midworst.

sure, the physical properties of snow do cause it to melt when it hits the pavement, leaving said pavement wet. but really, the stuff isn't dangerous unless it comes in large quantities like it did last winter. and .25" of snow certainly does not qualify as a "large" quantity unless you live in dallas, where it's a "blizzard." so why, why must you have driven a painfully slow 40 mph on the highway last night, knowing full well that the conditions were perfectly safe to at least abide by the speed limit, if not exceed it like you're wont to do under sunny skies?

i could understand going slowly if we were driving in the mountains. night mountain driving in the winter is one of my least favorite activities. but we're in denver, on the plains where there's nary a hill worthy of description. it's all flat, it's all pretty much in a straight line, and still you slink along at a snail's pace, making the entire commute more dangerous by virtue of your over-caution (not a word, but i'm ranting. deal.).

you chose to move here from god knows where (probably california or arizona. you guys ruin everything.), so you must've willingly accepted the few cons that go with the many pros on our city's balance sheet. snow is one of the few cons. get used to it. and if you're a native, then you really have no excuse. you're fucking high plains/mountain people! if anyone should be able to comfortably drive in snow--.25" or 2.5 feet--it should be you. hell, you've been here long enough to at least have learned the ins and outs of winter driving, no? and if not, then you simply get a car that can handle it, right? why else would you all be driving around in your subarus or mammoth SUVs?

i'm embarrassed for you. i'm embarrassed that a kid that grew up driving on the icy streets of cincinnati, detroit and chicago has to come out to the high plains and show the mountain people how to drive a front wheel drive car in the snow. it's sad. it's ridiculous. and i guess from now on it's to be expected.

Celebrate, Celebrate, Die

not exactly a ringing endorsement is it? "blah, blah, blah, death. blah, blah, blah, bleeding can cause death." and this is an actual medication?! a sign of the apocalypse for sure.

Coming to a Theater Near You

saturday night, LAH and i headed downtown for the parade of lights. it's a pretty decent sized parade with a gigantice crowd. seemingly all of denver was there to partake. but after a cup of overpriced, albeit awesome, ghiardelli hot chocolate, the cold proved too much for us and we decided to make alternate plans for the evening. (aside: i don't remember since i moved here the cold coming on so early in the year and being so, well, cold. ugh).

we headed to pavillions to catch a movie, deciding against going out for drinks. LAH had had a rough time the night before and i just wasn't feeling the bar atmosphere. being in the holiday spirit as much as we could be, we opted for "fred klaus," figuring the movie was early enough and not the most popular title out, the theater should have been pretty empty.

(Note: this movie is complete garbage and an embarrassment for vince vaughan. i'd write a 100 word review for it, but only a couple of choice words really come to mind).

entering the near empty theater, we choose our seats high atop the stadium seating, smack dab in the middle. we were the first 2 people in there and figured we'd carved out our niche neatly enough that anyone else that came in would sit elsewhere. enter the teenagers. 5 in the back and 4 in the front. out of an entire theater, these little jerkoffs decide that the only suitable place to sit is right around us.

ordinarily, i hate anyone in a movie theater under the age of 25. and watching these mongoloids run up the stairs making all sorts of noise made me a bit uneasy about the whole movie going experience for the night. after kicking the backs of our seats numerous times during the previews and the first 10 minutes of the feature film, they seemed to have calmed down. all was right with the world....until they decided they were hungry. 10 minutes of uninterrupted conversation about who was going to pay, who was going to go, and some insults being lobbed among the group prompted thoughts of moving. but why should we move? we were there first. we were being considerate patrons, following all the brainwashing commands given by the female voiceover.

in and out they went, running amok up and down the stairs, visibly irritating the few other attendees of the worst film of the year. periodically, i'd turn my head just slightly to see behind me, making sure the message was getting to them to shut the fuck up. and they did. but, having the attention span of a fly, er, of the typical high schooler, that peace lasted all of 10 minutes...max.

this isn't the first experience i've had like this. nor will it be the last. obviously the PG-13 and R ratings are doing the job. so, maybe theaters need to implement a carding process similar to the one bars have executed with near flawlessness for years. instead of not being permitted to see a movie if you're not of appropriate age, now teenagers--anyone under 18--must be accompanied by an adult at all times. or, better yet, just not permitted in certain theaters altogether. segregation. separate but equal, but without the racial overtones.

i hate teenagers. and i hated the movie. together, i left hating the world for wasting my 10 dollars, my time, and my patience. bastard little kids.