Just Shut Up

if i were a better, more dedicated and diligent poster, i'd probably make a weekly post entitled "Just Shut Up," beseeching the talking heads, windbags and motormouths to lock it up and spare our ears the stress of hearing such noise.

i'm not that blogger. BUT, for this one week, i will move forward with the post. This week's Just Shut Up award goes to the 1st runner up in the u.s. vice presidential race, sarah palin, the governor of the, ahem, great state of alaska.

sure, we've all seen the interviews that left us laughing, rithing and itching for more. her time with katie couric was quite possibly the most painful, yet fulfilling, segment ever aired on television. but even after the debacle, even after being vanquished by more eloquent, more intelligent and generally more likeable opponents, the governor remains--for reasons that defy logic--popular among her shattered party.

normally when a politician loses a high-profile race they vanish from the public eye, shrinking back into the role they previously held in society, whatever it may be. but mrs. palin refuses to go away, now granting all the interviews her handlers prohibited during the race. she keeps hogging the spotlight and, worse, keeps talking.

forget for a moment her political ideology, odd and inconsistent as it is. the alaskan assassin (of campaigns) wins this award going away for her incessant use of the words "nation," "also," "too," and constantly repeating phrases within the structure of the same sentence that render her nearly incomprehensible.

in recent interviews, palin talks about doing whatever god and the people of alaska want her to do to "progress the nation," and also too thinks that she may also run for president in 2012, too, because it would be good for "this great nation."

she rather reminds me of an older, northern version of ms. south carolina when she attempts to answer any question that can't be answered yes or no. it's as if she has only 2 strategies for answering a question: 1) keep talking as long as possible, hoping to either bore the questioner into agreement, or to hopefully stumble upon a single solitary point with which someone may agree and 2) to fill a sentence with as many conjunctions and adjectives as possible to confuse the living hell out of anyone (a la the couric interview) who's listening so they forget what the question actually was.

worse yet, sarahcudda even sounds as if she's trying to convince herself that she knows what she's talking about. it's evident to virtually everyone, except republicans i guess, that the woman knows nothing of american history, world geography or commerce, or any tenets of foreign policy. yet she babbles on about how the president elect needs to understand that "the terrorists haven't changed their minds."

look, people want to follow people who are articulate, bright, ambitious and savvy. and you don't have to be a rocket surgeon or a brain scientist to lead. but any time you can somehow manage to make GW Bush look like a member of mensa it's time to put your political aspirations on the back burner and visit the guidance counselor.

so, to governor sarah palin of alaska. JUST SHUT UP!