Yeah, I'm Hooked

i know it's juvenile. i know it's gen-y, as some may say. but make no mistake about it, i'm hooked on myspace. it's sad, really, that i find myself at all hours of the day logging in and out to see if anyone from my past has made an effort to track me down and see what i've been up to. i'm on and off hoping for just one more message in that inbox to boost my self-esteem.

there have been reports on the news recently warning parents to monitor their teenagers' activities online, in particular, myspace. all maladies aside, i can't help but keep a browser window open, or at least available, at all times knowing that at any second, someone i haven't seen in 5 years could have sent me an email saying, "hey, what's going on? how are you?" even better, what if it's some girl that lives near me that writes that she loved my profile and thinks i'm great? and wants to meet me for drinks? and thinks i'm hot? and wants to, er, uh, ya know? what if i'm destined to meet my soulmate on this dangerous internet medium?

obviously that won't happen. nor do i wish it to. but these are the mental processes of an addict. you should know, you're one too. go on, admit it. you and i are in direct competition with everyone else between the ages of 18-34 to see who can garner the most "friends." we all know that if you have 856 "friends" on myspace it means your popularity hasn't waned since high school and you love it. you like the attention. we all do.

everyday there is a new online community forming. but none of them (yet) have the mind-controlling power that myspace possesses. we should all be thankful, 'cause nothing in the world would be accomplished if they did. if it weren't for myspace, i'd actually get some work done between 8:30 am and 5:30 pm monday-friday. of course, when i'm not on myspace, i'm browsing craigslist (gawwwwd i love craigslist! you can find whatever you want and need....oh, tangent).

i doubt there is a 12 step program for myspacers. there probably should be, but who really wants one? sadly, i think we're nearing a point where a couple of support groups will be popping up here and there. and rightfully so.

it's an innocent act trying to reconnect with your old friends and finding some new ones through the wonders of technology. but there's a direct correlation, an inverse relationship if you will, between myspace surfing and work productivity. the more friends you have or want to find, the more your real, working, professional life (ya know, the one that pays the bills?) suffers. i could get into the science and mathematics of how that works, but i'm smarter, sexier, and more wonderful than you, and you wouldn't understand. at least, that's what my 68 friends at myspace.com tell me. will you be my friend?