Me Chinese, Me Play Joke

"me chinese. me play joke. me go pee pee in your coke." those are the words to a never-unfunny children's chant. well, it was never unfunny when i was a kid anyway. it seems, however, that as we get older, our sense of humor changes quite a bit, though the lyrics adjust only slightly. try "me post worker, me play joke. me go pee pee in your....coffee?"

in the lovely town of akron, ohio, a 50-year old man was sentenced to six months jail-work release for pouring, you guessed it, urine into the coffee pot at work.

for months, a disgruntled postal worker (SHOCK!), thomas shaheen, sneakily poured urine into the office coffee pot and stood by idly as his co-workers ingested the scrumptious concoction (or is it concocktion?). the workers soon realized that their morning cup o' joe had an extra jolt to it, and reported the activities to their supervisors, who promptly ordered an investigation. naturally, as with all government agencies, the investigation resulted in no action being taken. so the workers installed a hidden video camera and caught shaheen in the act.

after being sentenced and ordered to pay $1200 to each of the victims (you'd have to pay me much more than $1200 to drink piss in my coffee), shaheen's lawyer indicated that his client was frustrated with his work, hence the vile act. when was the last time a postie wasn't frustrated with his work?

now, i've hated virtually every job i've had. in fact, i've actually disliked most of the people i've worked with, for one reason or another. but no matter how strongly i disliked someone, nor how much i hated my job, i'd never resort to relieving myself and then pouring it the morning coffee pot. "accidentally" cancelling someone else's print job right ahead of an important meeting to make them look bad? yeah, i'd do that. but i couldn't imagine going so far with my dissatisfaction as to dumping my mellow yellow in a pot of black. why is it always the posties that do the crazy shit? what's the worst thing you've done at work?