this letter is to inform you of my interest in filling your need for a chief meteorologist/weather anchor. though there is no formal posting for the position, i am fairly certain that after this weekend's debacle, there surely will be one come monday, and i simply want to be ahead of the pack.
while i may not possess the classical training or skills of most weathermen, i feel i'm certainly as unqualified for the position as your current staff is, and can bring tremendous value to your station since my salary demands (high 5 figures) are significantly lower than their current pay grade (low 6 figures). for example, had i been the one to completely botch this weekend's forecast, predicting upwards of 18 inches of snow--prompting flight cancellations at the airport--only to be followed by clear skies and 65 degrees, think of how much your station could have saved. you'd be a hero in the eyes of the corporate executives. meanwhile,the ratings would be through the roof since your female viewers would want to be with me, while your male viewers would, naturally, want to be me. what does that add up to? more money for the station via increased ad revenues and thus, more "bang" for your buck.
in conclusion, i feel that i'd be a tremendous asset to the weather team and make the station even more financially successful that it already is. undoubtedly you seek a team player who can savagely butcher a forecast without hesitation or apprehension. simply stated, you're looking for me. please review my lack of qualifications and feel free to contact me at the phone number or email address listed atop my resume.
sincerely,
JY
5 comments:
Would you get to be on TV? Can I have your autograph?
How did I know that was coming?
because you're uber smart?
Guh, weathermen and weatherwomen are the WORST! They're never right. I think the weather report on the news should include a baboon, a colourful wheel and some hot jazz music.
oh, a baboon is a GREAT idea! i swear, weather "predicting" is the only job where you can be wrong 75% of the time and not lose your job. all you have to do is say that the storm "shifted course" a bit, and you're a friggin' hero! THAT'S a dream job. especially if i got to do it with a baboon by my side!
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