It's Christmas and I don't really know what to say

For starters, let me just say that there needs to be a new rule implemented for Christmas. The new rule is that Christians are not allowed in the movie theaters and must remain with their families for the duration of the holiday. Jews and other non-Christ followers have nothing to do and no place to go on the sacred day of Jeshua's birth, other than, of course, the movie theater and Chinese food. But last night, our theater was packed. And given Denver's relative size and the estimated global population of Jews, there's not a chance in hell that most of the people that formed the lines out the door were not Christians.

All joking/half-joking aside, Christmas time is supposed to be a time of family and loved ones. It's supposed to be the season of giving and rejoicing (for whatever reason you choose). It is not, however, supposed to be a season of mourning and grief. Sadly, some of my old friends from back home and I are doing just that. My friend Jackie, whom I'd known since middle school was killed sometime on Christmas Eve before ever getting to spend her holiday with her mom. It is believed the cause of her death is by homicide. And it's a heartbreaking tale that happens to take place at the worst time of the year possible.

We don't know all the details, but we're all shocked just the same. I can't pretend that she and I were close any more. We hadn't really spoken much since graduating in 1997, but we reconnected this summer via Facebook and MySpace and had plans to hang out last Thanksgiving; plans I had to cancel because I got sick. We were both busy with our lives, but we were slowly catching up on the happenings of the past 11 years. But at one point in our lives, I considered here a very good--if not close--friend. And for that I mourn.

It's always sad when someone you know passes. It's particularly sad when it's someone you've considered a friend--past or present--who is your age, and who has been widely regarded as a genuine good person. It's an odd feeling for me to fight back tears while I write this, knowing that we weren't best friends. When I moved to 5280 more than 4 years ago, I'd all but left my Ohio life behind. But news of "Jax's" death brought a rush of memories and emotion, and the undeniable truth that I'll miss her and what would have been our certain reunion in May.

RIP Jax, we love you.

Jesus loves you....

...everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

you might be a "real" christian if.....

-you have parents that preach abstinence over responsible birth control, yet you have a child out of wedlock.
-you have or have considered getting a divorce, which is strictly prohibited in the bible.
-are steadfastly against gay marriage because you interpret certain lines or passages from the bible as prohibiting it, when in fact, it does not.
-you "believe" in creationism, yet are among the first to compare a stupid human to a monkey, citing obvious similarities.
-you cite "religious" reasons for not consuming alcohol, stating that drinking is a sin. except for that whole jesus turning water into wine thing. that seemed rather important.
-you pass judgment on others' beliefs and behaviors, when your good book explicitly states not to pass judgment unless you accept being judged yourself.
-you proclaim just how much you love this country and everything it stands for and still insist that prayer be introduced at schools and the 10 commandments at public facilities (separation of church and state, anyone?).
-you express outrage at the thought of not being allowed to display nativity scenes on public lands while asking for prohibition of other religions' symbols on those same public lands.
-you repeatedly refer to yourself as a "good christian" while routinely breaking at least one of the 10 commandments daily.
-you pick and choose scripture to support and advance your political agenda.
-you are a complete, total and undeniable hypocrite.

Jewish Christmas

how hanukkah became a gift-giving "holiday."

"mommy, why did johnny get all those gifts?"
"because johnny is a christian. he's a gentile. it's what they do."
"but i want presents too. we have hanukkah. get me gifts for hanukkah. remember, there are 8 nights."
"fine, 8 presents it is. i can afford it. i own a bank and a film studio."

The opposite of "Progress"is "Congress"

well, technically, it's "regress," but our congress has managed to continue finding ways to confound, flabbergast and utterly puzzle the mind of the american citizen.

representative joe barton (R-tx) and his cohorts, bobby rush (D-IL) and mike mccaul (R-TX) are planning to introduce a bill to the house that would place the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) National Title Game in direct violation of the FTC act. naturally, they cite this unfair advantage given to certain universities to be in position to earn millions of dollars for being named "champion" and decry the many, many, many (many) shortcomings of the system in providing a fair and level playing field (pun intended) in the big business of college football.

i'm a huge college football fan, and i want a playoff as much as the next guy; maybe even more. but--call me crazy--it seems like congress should have some better things to do than meddle in intercollegiate athletics, at least right now. it just doesn't seem really like the kind of domain that congress would excel in making policy. but i could be wrong.

i guess on the other hand, this move makes complete sense. after all, our economy is booming, we're in a time of peace and prosperity, we've solved not only world hunger, but also the AIDS epidemic, and global warming should be all taken care of in the next month or two. i mean, when you really think about it, maybe congress doesn't have anything better to do since they've already solved all the world's problems in a matter of months. my hope is that they choose an 8 team playoff and not 6, because that wouldn't be fair and may merit an investigation or something.

Um, Duh?

Today's most ridiculously obvious headline:

Bush: Iraq war longer, costlier than expected-msn.com

really? can you PLEASE hurry the fuck up and leave already?

Sen-sational

Reason #458 that Alaska should be given away to the Russians:

Alaskans nearly re-elected an 85 year old to Senate who'd been convicted of 7 felony counts of CORRUPTION. There's stupidity and then there's frozen stupidity. Thank god for absentee ballots.

Just Shut Up

if i were a better, more dedicated and diligent poster, i'd probably make a weekly post entitled "Just Shut Up," beseeching the talking heads, windbags and motormouths to lock it up and spare our ears the stress of hearing such noise.

i'm not that blogger. BUT, for this one week, i will move forward with the post. This week's Just Shut Up award goes to the 1st runner up in the u.s. vice presidential race, sarah palin, the governor of the, ahem, great state of alaska.

sure, we've all seen the interviews that left us laughing, rithing and itching for more. her time with katie couric was quite possibly the most painful, yet fulfilling, segment ever aired on television. but even after the debacle, even after being vanquished by more eloquent, more intelligent and generally more likeable opponents, the governor remains--for reasons that defy logic--popular among her shattered party.

normally when a politician loses a high-profile race they vanish from the public eye, shrinking back into the role they previously held in society, whatever it may be. but mrs. palin refuses to go away, now granting all the interviews her handlers prohibited during the race. she keeps hogging the spotlight and, worse, keeps talking.

forget for a moment her political ideology, odd and inconsistent as it is. the alaskan assassin (of campaigns) wins this award going away for her incessant use of the words "nation," "also," "too," and constantly repeating phrases within the structure of the same sentence that render her nearly incomprehensible.

in recent interviews, palin talks about doing whatever god and the people of alaska want her to do to "progress the nation," and also too thinks that she may also run for president in 2012, too, because it would be good for "this great nation."

she rather reminds me of an older, northern version of ms. south carolina when she attempts to answer any question that can't be answered yes or no. it's as if she has only 2 strategies for answering a question: 1) keep talking as long as possible, hoping to either bore the questioner into agreement, or to hopefully stumble upon a single solitary point with which someone may agree and 2) to fill a sentence with as many conjunctions and adjectives as possible to confuse the living hell out of anyone (a la the couric interview) who's listening so they forget what the question actually was.

worse yet, sarahcudda even sounds as if she's trying to convince herself that she knows what she's talking about. it's evident to virtually everyone, except republicans i guess, that the woman knows nothing of american history, world geography or commerce, or any tenets of foreign policy. yet she babbles on about how the president elect needs to understand that "the terrorists haven't changed their minds."

look, people want to follow people who are articulate, bright, ambitious and savvy. and you don't have to be a rocket surgeon or a brain scientist to lead. but any time you can somehow manage to make GW Bush look like a member of mensa it's time to put your political aspirations on the back burner and visit the guidance counselor.

so, to governor sarah palin of alaska. JUST SHUT UP!

Pride and Prejudice

I haven't written in quite a while. Frankly, I've been too self-absorbed and too damn lazy to write anything, really, even though I've kept fairly busy. But tonight, I have an impetus, a motivation and a reason to write. It's a great day for America.

It's a great day for America and a day to be proud. I'm proud that the youth of a nation finally fulfilled its promise to show up and be heard for once. I'm proud that the guy whom I joked about while I lived in Chicago for having a funny name spread a message of hope and destiny in a way no one else has. I'm proud that the old man, after a well deserved defeat, rediscovered the voice of the old John McCain--the one that we all knew and respected and who was dragged through the mud by W--and delivered an eloquent, gracious and substantive concession speech.

I'm proud that after 220+ years on the face of the earth, our country saw fit to cast aside bigotry and prejudice, and speak in one voice overwhelmingly in support of a Black candidate. I am proud that my party finally got its collective shit together and ran a complete campaign, clean as any in recent history. I am proud that my home state of Ohio finally got an election right. I'm proud that I was part of a movement that has begun a fundamental shift in the American psyche, where red states will vote blue and blue states embrace red. And, finally, I'm proud to have been witness to history and yet another phenomenal speech.

Yes we can, yes we have and yes we will.

Down on the corner, out on Main Street

media types crack me up. the very people that are paid to put a creative, interesting spin on the bland old news of the day will seize any opportunity to take the easy way out and use easy plays on words or other phrases and terminologies that are supposed to stick in our minds. "the palin effect" comes to mind recently (kimmel has a great couple of videos splicing footage of all the talking heads using the phrase that pays) among a handful of others.

but all pale in comparison to the one dominating the headlines recently: "from wall street to main street." i find this laughable because the ones that created this corny tagline are undoubtedly from areas devoid of any true main street. furthering the insult, politicians--the ones living in fancy houses (like 13 of them, perhaps?) in large metropolitan areas or their richer suburban climes--have adopted the saying as well. it makes for a catchy campaign term, but the fact is that the idealistic "main street" both media and politicos so fondly talk about no longer exists, particularly in their necks of the woods.

before cell phones, the internet and ATMs, there was a "main street" america. it was at the heart of all the smallest towns, hamlets, villages and unincorporated areas of the country. even the larger cities had an area or two that conjured up nostalgic feelings of community and of a central gathering area. but that idyllic painting faded years ago as people in cities retreated to their offices and homes, suburbanites moved to exurbs and rural dwellers no longer had much need for a main street because they could simply accomplish most anything they needed to from home.

i'm amazed at how out of touch these creative minds really are with the reality of our society. the truth is that while there is most certainly a Wall Street (or what's left of it anyway), there just isn't any longer a Main Street--either because it's been renamed for some local sports hero or because people just no longer congregate as they used to--leaving their coup de grâce of clever wordplay and imagery out cold...on the street.

One man does it alone

i could write some long-winded, smarmy post but i won't. i read this article on ESPN.com about a former athlete that finally got it right. the article speaks for itself and it's a great read. good on you, mr. bender. good on you.


***if only more "role" models would only live up to the moniker and expectations.....

Is that my line?

my political affiliation isn't much of a secret, and i'm anything if not staunch in my views and gladly throw my support behind those who share my views. but none of this precludes me from hating politicians from both sides of the aisle.

i thought my ire had reached its peak when a certain governor from a certain, ahem, "state" had an interview with a fairly credible journalist and failed to comprehend the basic principles of the doctrine of her predecessor. it certainly reinforced my figuring that americans are, in no uncertain terms, fucking stupid and have no problem flaunting it by supporting their elementary school librarian for the 2nd highest office in the land. but then came a moment that shot my blood pressure through the rough and forced steam from my ears....and it came from MY candidate.

let me understand one thing: you've been on the stump for how long now? and after all this time of repeating the same thing over and over and over and over and then over some more, you STILL can't remember what you're supposed to say without reading a goddamned queue card? really?!

you know when you're lying in bed at night all relaxed and suddenly you pick up on this annoying little sound and it's the only thing you can focus on? well, the same thing is happening to me every time i see a political ad (local, state, federal or otherwise) where there's a person talking to the camera. i haven't a clue what they're actually saying because i've tuned them out. instead, i focus on their eyes and see if they ever avert their gaze from the queue card and talk to me from the heart. and the answer is always no. and it makes me want to make my own ad where i speak to politicians and i say "i see your lips moving, but all i hear is 'blah blah blah blah. i'm a dirty skank.'"

look, if you want to be taken seriously and you want us to believe you're genuine in your words and in your convictions, it may be a good idea to be able to recite these things by rote memory. just a suggestion.

but i guess it's a good thing i don't actually hear what they're saying. ya know, since every article i've read in the past few weeks claim that none of the "facts" contained in these ads are true. god, you just gotta love election season.

Biden my time

i just thought everyone should know that i'm down-fucking-right ecstatic that the skinny kid with the funny name has selected big joe biden as his running mate. somewhere (most likely L.A.), bill maher is happy too. hooray! now, let's hope that mcsame fucks up. :)

Gimme that which I desire

see, i told you.

Gimme Fuel Gimme FIre....

give the people what they want!

the political mudslinging has unceremoniously begun. and just like the other campaigns of the television era, the attacks get more and more ridiculous.

i'm not sure why i expected anything less than the same old politics from the same old politicians, but i was really hoping that this year would be different. of course, without the help of the RNP, i'd never have known that obama was to blame for high gas prices, or that democrats do nothing but vote against domestic energy development and want to keep the middle class down by keeping prices on everything high. of course, how could i forget that inflating your tires properly is NOT an effective method for gaining MPG?

let's get one thing straight, the republicans have this all wrong. and i don't say this as a registered dem., i say this from the standpoint of common fucking sense. new drilling won't do the trick and it shouldn't be the basis of an energy plan. know why? 'cause it won't deliver any new energy for 10 FREAKIN' YEARS! how does that help us now?

as a partial, yet objective observer, the dems have it right. well, mostly, anyway. alternative fuels are the wave of the future and the long term solution. natural gas is a nice addition, but solar, wind, geothermal and hydrogen cells are the most abundant, cheapest in the long term and generally cleaner and healthier for all of us.

only now are americans catching up to the rest of the world in environmental intelligence. only now are we FINALLY cutting back on our gas guzzling SUVs since gas prices have hit $4.00+. and now we're all left to wonder how we're going to make it work and decide whose fault it was that we "didn't see it coming." if the republican leadership has any questions about why we were left so unprepared, they need only to look in the mirror for the answer, not at the skinny kid with the funny name.

Beiching!

i'm not ordinarily a fan of the olympics; in part because save for 1996, it's usually on the other side of the world which screws with my schedule and in the other part because i don't understand how shooting a bb gun is more a sport than softball or baseball. my normal feelings aside, i gotta hand it to the chinamen for putting on a wicked kick ass games so far. the opening ceremony was nothing short of phenomenal (except for that stupid parade of nations, which every olympics has to do. it's fucking boring!) and the organizers from the people's republic lucked into some compelling circumstances surround stuff i ordinarily couldn't possibly care about less like swimming (how could anyone not be in love with dara torres? oh, and you're pretty cool too, phelps). crazy awesome relay finish anyone?

i still can't bring myself to watch men's diving or gymnastics and, really, the best part of the summer olympics has to be the track events anyway. but all in all, i've found myself much more involved, invested and caring about these games than any other i've seen. even if it is in the homeland of our mortal adversary. thank you, women's beach volleyball, for restoring my faith and interest in the games (i love you misty may-treanor. matt is a lucky guy!). USA!

Monsoon too soon

so, we had this cute little record going. something like 25 consecutive days above 90 degrees (no big deal for arizonans, most texans and a handful of californians). remember, we're closer to the sun than you, so when it's 97 here, it's BLISTERING hot. we hadn't had any rain in more than 3 weeks and the state was, you guessed it, burning.

mother nature woke up from her nap and decided to quell the heat. except the dumb broad left the faucet running....to the tune of 2.5 inches of rain in an hour. for 2 consecutive days. that's a lot of water to begin with, but have you any idea what that does when half of your state is burned out? yeah, it causes flooding. so, we've gone from intense drought and a burning mountain range to flash floods across the state.

attention mother nature, moderation. ever heard of it? bitch.

Jello Pudddddding

so, for some reason i was watching leno tonight and bill cosby was on. i'd just gotten back from the gym (i like going on friday nights because it's absolutely the best workout of the week!) and just flicked on the tube. there was old man pudding doing stand up.

i loved the cosby show just like everyone else, but sweet mother of christ, who told bill he's funny? even his old stuff--regarded as classic--wasn't really that good. please, cliff huxtable, please just stick with shilling creamy cups of goodness and leave the funny business to the professionals.

Brett Favre - BAM!

brett farve. go the fuck away. seriously. jesus christ.

Powered Down

why do i keep losing power just about every night? either greenpeace made a "die hard" takeover of Xcel, or someone has seriously fucked up our grid. last night marked the 4th night in a row that i woke up to my desktop being off and my microwave reading "pf." pf? what the fuck does that mean?

i don't live in california, so rolling blackouts are not an option. i think drunk people keep running into the transformer with their cars.

on a lighter note (get it, lighter?), at least the state isn't on fire. yet.

Rock me gently

rock me slowly. or just rock it hard.

i had no idea what to expect, really. there have been first hand accounts that he looked like an emaciated coke fiend, which directly contradicted the assertion they're the greatest rock band ever. their appearance on kimmel in may was absolute trash; the vocals were terrible, the instrumentals just a bit off, and the performance as a whole was pretty awful.

but last night, STP came roaring back to my life after a nearly 8 year absence and rocked the living fuck out of red rocks amphitheater. the night started slowly, as frank black--the former front man of the pixies--opened with nary an applause. i'd hoped that it wasn't foreshadowing of things to come. the lengthy delay between frank and STP triggered my mind immediately back to the days of never-ending stories about scott weiland's drug problem, and everyone around us was joking that scotty boy was holding up the show because he couldn't get the needle all the way in.

finally, they made it to the stage and, jesus, did that place EXPLODE. my friends and i took bets on the opening song, and only g-strang's pick made it within 3 songs of the opener. no one foresaw "big empty" as the choice du jour for the set list (for the record, i picked "vasoline." other choices were "interstate love song" and "sex type thing."). the set list ebbed and flowed magically, stringing together slower, more melodic songs, followed by a rush of 3 or 4 rockin' tunes in a row. at one point, the entire crowd of 10,000+ was singing along to "plush," so much so that weiland dropped the mic and allowed us to sing an entire chorus verse without his aid. needless to say, that was wicked awesome.

unlike their appearance on kimmel only 2 months prior, the boys were dead on for the entire set. every song, with the exception of a few vocal flourishes, sounded just as they did on cd. i wished that weiland would end his love affair with the megaphone he'd brought with him, but i can overlook that little tidbit and see the bigger picture for what it was: a rocked out show by one of my all-time favorite bands in an unbelievable atmosphere, replete with the ugliest fans i've ever seen.




"you towed the line and i know it was mine......"

MPG BS

"come in today and test drive the fuel efficient GMC Acadia today!" exclaims the announcer.

every automobile commercial today is talking all sorts of shit about fuel efficiency, gas mileage and environmental friendliness. i'd just about lost it after seeing the commercial for the new ford edge, with it's "drive the new ford edge, with the best fuel efficiency in its class." the starburst graphic proudly displays "up to 24 miles per gallon."

really? when did 'up to' 24 mpg become fuel efficient? 1982, that's when. that was the year that the average vehicle reached 21.5 mpg. so, pray tell, what the hell have we been doing in the intervening 26 years???? well, adding fancy new in-cabin entertainment, additional cupholders and approximately 1,000 lbs. per vehicle. that's what.

i find it hard to believe that no one--the government, detroit, even japan--has decided in the past quarter century that it may be a good idea to make some alterations to our vehicles to lessen their thirst for our fossil fuels. instead, the government decided that additional drilling, more purchasing and additional trade was the way to go. smart.

sooner or later, someone will wise up to the fact that drilling in alaska or off shore somewhere will only prolong the energy crisis we're experiencing now. yeah, we'll have more fuel for our cars now at the expense of possibly fueling anything else in the future. but who cares, right? live for today, they always say.

in the past 25 years we've seen the creation and identification of AIDS, mobile telephones, a world wide interweb machine doohicky and an assortment of other technological advances once thought impossible, if dreamed at all. in that same time frame our cars have gotten bigger, uglier and more home-like...but haven't improved an iota in performance.

as detroit feels the crushing burden of a shit economy--driven down by high fuel, a crap housing market, and the credit crunch--it seems now may be the most opportune time to begin truly innovating and leading the charge to bigger, better and more efficient things. being the first to market with a 70 mpg vehicle would certainly garner them some mad market share and would, more importantly, spurn a trend of innovation that finally resolves the issue of MPG. but the powers that be in auburn hills, the ren cen, and dearborn have yet to extract their heads from their collective assess, and their marketers are more than happy to try and pull the wool over the consumer's eyes.

and in other news, water is wet.

Surprise!

the old man trod on stage, clad in a dank button down shirt, some slacks and a union soldier's civil war hat. seated at a keyboard at the front of the stage and surrounded by his mates, robert bradley stole the spotlight though he couldn't see it.

for the first time in 6 years, i attended a robert bradley's blackwater surprise show. they've perpetually been one of my favorite bands since the brothers wolfe and hollywood introduced me to them 10 years ago. in that time i've accumulated virtually every album they've produced, save the live version of their Bloomington, IN NYE show. needless to say i was STOKED that they'd arrived in our fair mile-high city for an evening with their followers.

my last memory of bobby, as i call him, was of an old, decrepit, 60 year old blind black dude with a shit ton of excess energy to burn on stage. tonight, el senor bradley was a broken down, 58-year old blind dude (yeah, he got younger??) with less physical energy but a reservoir of moxy.

after his opening act left, bob and the boys opened with "time to remember." it's a good song, not one of my favorites, but altogether a good start. the show mosied about at a nice, comfortable pace. "higher," one of my all-time faves, lacked a little gusto without kid rock lending his--ahem--talent to the mix. it just seemed to be missing something, but nevertheless, it was a lively performance.

of the entire set, there were 2 songs i didn't know (i also got the feeling that i was the only one there that knew the lyrics to all of the others). one was a new one they hadn't yet officially recorded--and i'm not psychic. the other was a song from the HBO movie lackawanna blues. i didn't know that song because a) lackawanna blues was about 4 years ago and b) the movie sucked so i didn't watch the whole thing, or enough to know the song. i digress.

RBBS took 2 curtain calls. but they were kind of half-assed. ya know, it's sort of difficult to trick the crowd into thinking you're done when you have to lead your lead singer off stage with a cane and grabbing his arm and then try and "surprise" the audience with a triumphant return. each time they returned, however, they received a raucous ovation. sadly, in neither of their encores did the boys manage to include "california" or "trouble brother," two of the band's more blues-y songs. disappointed as i was, i couldn't have been happier to have driven to homogeneous suburbia to catch my old black man rockin' to the blues. after a 6 year absence from my life, robert bradley's blackwater surprise was definitely a pleasant one.


PS. RBBS will be releasing a new album sometime later this summer. keep an eye out. if you've never heard them, you owe it to yourself to give a listen.

CWS

among the mass chaos of life, i've forgotten just how much i enjoy college baseball. it's pure, passionate baseball from guys who actually have to pay most of their own way through college. with any luck, pops will come up with some tickets and i'll be sittin' pretty in good ole omaha in june...of 2009

Semantically Suspended

suspend; verb. "to cause to stop temporarily"

it's a matter of gross semantics with these politicians. hillary clinton "suspended" her run for the white house, just like mr. mitten suspended his, and rudy his. when exactly did this changeover from "losing" and "abandoning" (among other words) to "suspend" happen?

there is no answer more obvious than the continuous pussification of the american public. it started with the ill-conceived notion that we must protect our children from every possible one of life's great harms. which, in turn, started us down the path of political correctness to protect everyone from the harm words and phrases can cause. and now the phenomenon has reached its highest level, our nation's--ahem--leaders.

politicians are now so overly afraid of the notion of losing that they've forced a semantic change in our lexicon, naturally perpetuated by our brain-dead media. our leaders' feelings are now so fragile that the thought of losing a campaign is unbearable and they'll go to great strides to avoid the agony that accompanies defeat by assessing false hope for a different outcome in the future.

in reality it's an effort by our hungry power brokers to maintain--in their minds--some modicum of control over the events of their lives. by taking a proactive stance and announcing their choice to "suspend" their aspirations for a high office, they believe falsely that they're demonstrating to the public their abilities to take the high road in the face of adversity. sadly, they seem not to understand that the great majority of us can see right through the bs and straight to the true statement: "i'm afraid to admit i've lost."

it's a sad day for america when the thought of losing a contest is so abhorrent that people will go to great lengths to spin the truth. it speaks to our collective sense of entitlement and lack of character. it highlights our inability to maturely and appropriately overcome personal adversity and emphasizes our weakness to admit failure.

our leaders' reluctance to acknowledge simple defeat at the hands of a superior opponent is a microcosm of what the american public has become...a collection of frontrunners. perhaps, for the first and last time in human existence, we should take a page from the professional athletes' books and humbly accept our shortcomings and failures rather than trying to rewrite history to cover them up.

What the f*ck?

you're distant, you're cold. you're unpredictable and unable and unwilling to express yourself. you never called, you never wrote. you made nary an effort. you couldn't tell me it was over, expecting me to figure it out. you gave no reason, no answer, no rationale. and now you want my friendship? to you, dear ex, a hearty "what the fuck?"

Catching up

it's been nearly a month since i've written. i haven't been incapacitated. and it's not that i haven't had anything to write about. it's simply that i just didn't want to. my 3 week mini vacation away from RAOG has proven to be ample time to provide substantial content in all aspects of life. here is the good, the bad and the ugly, broken out newspaper style:

arts and entertainment

summer concert season has descended upon denver. i got my hands on two tickets to see STP at red rocks in july. yeah, that STP at that red rocks. how bad ass is that? i'm hoping that it's made up for my inability to get tickets to see eddie izzard when he comes to town. something tells me i'm gonna end up paying an arm and a leg to see the crazy executive transvestite. my boy bill is coming too, but i think i'll pass on tix, since the last time i saw him live, i recited most of his show for him. ya know, 'cause it's exactly the same materials from the show. robert bradley is coming next month, and i'll be in attendance at some stupid venue in a god-damned suburban mall. the show will hopefully be good enough to counteract the NOFX show i was dragged to a few weeks back. that show would have been pretty entertaining, until i remembered that i hate punk rock and the punk followers. a trip to lollapallooza is potentially in order as well.

american idol is garbage. so is survivor. how these shows are STILL on is beyond me. actually, i get it. ratings keep them on the air. so, let me rephrase: how people are still dumb enough to watch such trash is completely beyond me. what percentage of AI viewers do you suppose happened to watch the john adams miniseries? 10%? 2? .1? sure, it's entertainment (but it's not tv, it's hbo!), but it was very educational, even for a history fan like me. more people need to watch higher quality programming. then advertisers will push producers to come up with higher quality programs, and we'll have a complete paradigm shift back to the way things used to be before paradise hotel and FLAVA FLAV!

weather

summer appears to have awoken from its slumber and has made a not-so-impressive appearance. for the 4 days we've had in the 80s (and 1 that touched 90), they've each been met with an equal or higher number of days in the 60s. last year we had a week of spring. this year we'll be lucky to get 2 months of summer. el nino and global warming should have a cage match to the death, since they're the 2 biggest culprits assailing our weather norms. looking ahead over the next few weeks, i think we'll get into the full swing of the summer season, which means i just have to wait for the white shit to melt off of the big hills before i can get my hiking and biking in at high altitude. hurry the hell up!

lifestyle

i hate old people. it used to be that i hated kids, but i've recently determined that kids are far more tolerable than the rickety, decrepit elderly jerk offs running around. obviously, i'm destined to be one of them when i grow older, given my bitter overtones at my current age. but i see this as a sign from above that maybe i shouldn't live to see that age. the world will be better off anyway.

by the way, in case i've never mentioned it, i'm back to the single life. have been for a couple of months now. and i think i don't like it again. is it really possible to become so bored so quickly of your dating status? christ, when i am dating someone, i long to be single again. and after 2-3 months of being single, i yearn to be taken once more. what the fuck?

i'm reinforcing my ambivalence toward name brand clothing. i need new clothes pretty badly. but i'll be damned if you see me shelling out $50 for a pair of shorts and an equal amount on shirt. i see so many people at work running around in their $100 threads. well, i've reverted back to the anti-boutique shopping mentality. know where i get good deals? kohl's. yes, kohl's, the red-headed step child to jc penny's and nordstrom. know why? a) cuz i don't give a shit what the tag says on the inside, so long as it looks good on me on the outside and fits well and b) because kohl's seems to always have a sale where they're basically giving stuff away. i love it and i'm a better person for embracing it.

business and finance

i got promoted about a month ago, but my raise doesn't kick in till this next paycheck. weak, i know. weaker, still, is that my raise was about 15k less than anticipated/deserved. seriously, i've had half a mind to try and negotiate, but given the current business environment we're in, i don't have a leg to stand on...yet. nevertheless, my new comp. package includes a decent commission/bonus structure for any new business that i manage to bring in. i guess potential is as powerful as actually earning. or maybe not. but i do have the potential for six figures this year. then again, most everyone can say that.

civil law is ludicrous and unfair. i've been embroiled in a lease legal wrangling from 3 years ago, and somehow i've been singled out as the sole soul responsible for bearing the burden. yep, i'm being held legally responsible for someone else's mistakes, and there's not a god damn thing i can do about it...except let them go into my bank account, withdraw everything in there, leaving me with a negative balance and requiring me to change banks on the fly to avoid a possible repeat next week. that couldn't happen, right? except that it did. last week. and i'm pissed.

gas is $4 a gallon in denver now. our coastal friends (and those in chicago) have been feeling this pinch for a while and, well, it sucks. all you ever hear is how "america is the best country on earth." why, then, can a country like brazil, which evidently is not the #1 country on earth, be completely energy independent and we can't be? the technology is there, the NEED is there and everyone wants it. oh, that's right, because the exxon's and conoco's of the world just raked in $12 billion....last QUARTER. why fix it if it ain't broke?

when i get my financial shit squared away and begin hammering away at the nearly impossible task of restoring my credit to it's former glory, i'm gonna buy a house. not a condo, a house. and why not? everyone and his brother is in foreclosure on his home. surely i can swing a decent deal within a year, no?

sports

baseball is nearing mid-season form. there have been surprises--like the tampa bay rays being decent, the shit louis cardinals hanging on for dear life, and the tigers of detroit absolutely sucking balls--but luckily, my cubs have been good enough to keep things entertaining for me as the season drags into the dog day doldrums. and good thing, too, 'cause the rest of the sports world hasn't given me anything to pay attention to. has anyone noticed that the NBA has quickly become one of the most boring, emotionless and worthless athletic ventures in the history of man? normally i'll at least watch some of the playoffs. but this year, i can't even muster the strength to watch a single game; game 7 or otherwise. you know it's a sad state of affairs when you prefer the following to a televised NBA game: food network, travel channel, history channel, C-span, lifetime, we, nickelodeon or hgtv.

the tour de france is coming up in about a month and a half. and for the first time in over 10 years, i couldn't possibly care less. at least in the past there have been some interesting plot lines--outside of lance, even. but this year, after cycling was devastated by yet more doping scandals, i've lost all interest.

thankfully, the countdown to college football is underway. t-minus 3 months.......

opinion

my opinion is that we need to hurry up and end the dem race for the nomination and hurry up with our general election. as great as it'll be to get the monkey in chief out of office, i dread having to sit through 6 more months of slanderous mud slinging political ads. of course, if there were a god, we'd have a 3rd party candidate running to. maybe we should create something called the party of common sense. our platform will be to only make legislation that makes sense. novel idea, i know. i think i'll be the party chairman.

my opinion is that more people need to blog. there's just not enough good stuff to read lately, save the old standbys (thanks for entertaining me, gpg). i'm as guilty as the next guy (looking at you jet blach), but then again, i'm not really that entertaining to begin with.

i'll have more opinions as i begin to care more about writing again. though, i must admit, i kinda like this 1-month-off-then-write-something schedule. maybe i've missed my calling in life.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall - A Review...

...in 100 words or less (my first post in april!)

superbad cast plus segel. funny but not crass. vunerable segel is loveable and pathetic all at once. wallows in his grief, yet drops gem after gem. kristin bell, michigan beauty. unaware, vunerable and a total manipulator. jonah hill contributes nothing, while stunning Mila Kunis revives her career. Sexy, sweet and carefree. A laugh a minute, but never a gut buster. Hotel supporting cast perfectly executed (including Souf Centro representin’), and Jesus-freak newly wed is the surprising shining light. Aptow on a roll with his typical style and (un)grace. Fairly predictable heartbreak story told in a not-so-predictable way.

Overall Grade: A-

Word Count: 97

Park is Open

it's opening day. i am happy. except that my cubs got off to a typical cub start. of course, they opened at home in typical cub home opener weather (read: rainy, windy, 36 degrees). all is right with the world. play ball!

When I See A Little Light

what is it with companies these days luring artists into selling out to be in their commercials? whatever happened to those cheesy little jingles that would stick in your head for hours and days on end like the freecreditreport.com ones ("f-r-e-e that spells free." thanks alot, bastards).

apple and mitsubishi, i believe, are the original perpetrators of this movement. apple secured foreigner yael naim and her poor "new soul" to hock their wares, while mitsubishi has run the gamut with their selection of sell outs; from fat boy slim to the french version of elastica, the prototypes. now TIAA-CREF has gotten in on the act, kidnapping one of college rock's pioneers, bob mould, formerly of husker du and sugar, using his "see a little light" song to tell everyone about their financial services for the greater good (i had to look that up. the hallmark of bad and ineffective advertising).

when did it become acceptable and chic for artists to sell out like this? i hate that it has, but i really can see both sides to it. on one hand, the artists do need to make some scratch and the advertisers do need something catchy to make their ad stand out. but on the other, i think it sucks that artist and advertiser alike have no problem assailing the integrity, modesty and artistry of the original work.

i guess if i had my way, companies would commission artists to score original music for their ads; to create something that actually and directly relates to what's being sold. this way everyone wins: artists get paid, advertisers get customized music to fit their products and services, and the rest of us get to continue enjoying the music the way it was intended....for our entertainment.

(btw, if you haven't yet heard "see a little light," i recommend it with a 'b' grade for its 80s off-key pop value.)

Spelled with an X, Pronounced with a Z

the little brother of the university of cincinnati, Xavier University, has a basketball team. and they're really damn good. my fair city has rallied behind our musketeers (in the absence of our bearcats) and they've responded with a beautiful run to the Elite 8 on account of their hustle, style and grit.

but there is no quicker way to piss of the entirety of southwest ohio (and parts of indiana and kentucky) than to mispronounce the name of the school in the midst of a magical run. yes, xavier--or "X" as we call it back home--starts with the letter x. it is, however, pronounced as if it were spelled with a z. Zavier, not Ex avier.

someone should make a new rule that if you're to be considered an "expert" or a "pundit" in any particular field, especially collegiate athletics, you should be required to at least know how to pronounce properly the names of all the schools in the tournament. ya know, since everyone but reece davis seems to get it wrong.

i was Xstatic to see my/our muskies pull out a dramatic win over a team led by my team's former coach, the huggy bear. sadly, in the interest of winning my office pool, i must root against the X-men in their next game, since i have UCLA winning it all and i really want the money. besides, i'm a bearcat fan at heart. and we never really want little brother to have that much success.

Here Piggy Piggy

unless you are one, most people hate cops. black people hate them because a run in tends to end in a beat down and arrest. hispanics hate them because cops assume all latinos to be illegal and "no speaka da eengleesh." people in maryland hate them because the cops there speed, get caught on camera and refuse to pay the tickets because citations are issued to the owner of the vehicle (in their case, the city), not the individual. people in ohio hate them because troopers there calibrate their radar guns about 6 miles slower than the actual speed, which allows for more tickets and, therefore, more revenue.

i hate them because, well, they're pricks who think they're above the laws they're bound to enforce. even in my little enclave, which spans a whopping 1 square mile in size, cops will do anything to take a shortcut. just this evening on my way home from the gym--a 4 minute drive across our hamlet within a city--3 cops used their lights for evil, not good. in all 3 instances, the offenders, er, officers, flashed their lights as they pulled up to a red stop light. naturally, the magical lights give them super powers to fly through intersections without so much as a glance to see if anyone else is there. and in true cop(out) fashion, as soon as each had safely traversed the intersection, the seeming emergency had miraculously been resolved, thus, flashing lights were no longer required.

1 square mile. it takes literally 6 minutes (including stop lights) to cross from one end of our village to the other. what business, other than an actual crime or emergency, could an officer of the law have that would require he/she save a whole 15 seconds to pass through an intersection unimpeded? none.

i want flashing lights too. then i can break the law and endanger lives while hiding under the guise of protecting and serving (myself).

Black Magic

so the worldwide leader in sports has decided to air a 2-week series about the achievements of black athletes this month. and while it's certainly commendable on several levels that they recognize the contributions to of lesser known athletes (or those who are better known for coaching like temple's john chaney), i'm irked by a couple of key points.

1. why air this in march? black history month is traditionally in february. in fact, i think it's always in february. i'm not black. i'm sure that comes as a shock. and frankly, i think a black history month is a terrible idea, since it essentially ridicules the advancements of society and achievements of blacks throughout our history by attempting to encapsulate them all into one month. nevertheless, we all know when black history month is. so wouldn't make the most sense to air this mini-series during the time when black achievement is at the forefront (well, closer to it anyway) of our minds? not a huge issue, but an issue nonetheless.

2. of all the famous blacks, of all the well-respected living professionals from all walks of life, of all the people in the world ESPN could have asked to host and narrate this series, they choose the Reverend Jesse Fucking Jackson. oh. my. god. this is the equivalent--if we had a "white history month"--of having david duke or the late and not-so-great strom thurmond host and narrate a series on the achievements of whites. are you kidding me? the series is an okay idea to start with. but, sweet mother of mercy, how could anyone make such a galactically stupid decision to hire this race baiter and news chaser to host? wow. simply wow.

dedicating a singular month to any one race is ridiculous. but, let's face it, no matter how hard we try to erase it, slavery actually did happen. i suppose this latest guilt-riddled attempt to try and wipe away the evils of the past is an acceptable homage, in theory, to black athletes and their contributions. but if you're going to take the time and spend the energy to piece together some rather poignant and powerful stories, at least have the decency to select somebody that EVERYONE respects to host it. at least then maybe we'll watch it and appreciate it.

Random Acts of Thinking

the gods saw fit to bring back the creativity in hollywood by ending the writers' strike and in the process rejuvenated the voice of my leader, bill maher. and though i'm loath to rip off materials and ideas from the last bastion of common sense in the world, i feel obligated to finish what i've started. so i'm gonna do it anyway. (don't sue me, bill. i'm on your side bra')

but instead of a full-fledge rules (i can't have too many new rules in a row. i'm a man of the people, not a blogarchy), we'll pass these corollaries, ordinances and regulations. so here we go....

-mother nature must admit to being a wretched bitch and stop treating denver like a red-headed step child. take some midol and get over your period called "winter." hot, cold. warm, freezing. snow, sun and more fucking snow. make up your god damned mind already! it's no wonder it's "mother" nature and not "father" nature. father nature wouldn't give a shit about the weather. he'd just be on the couch with his hand down his pants watching the NCAA tournament without giving a second thought to the fact he gave winter park 450 INCHES OF SNOW IN 3 MONTHS.

-the word is "dominant," not "dominate." all over the world wide web machine people (mostly fantasy baseball geeks) are furthering the bastardization of our language that tween girls started with their stupid text message language by telling us how "dominate" a pitcher or hitter is. dominate is a verb, as in "the 400 lb. mistress dominates the 40-year old virgin." whereas dominant is an adjective describing physical or mental superiority as in, "my right hand is my dominant hand because it's my go-to masturbation hand." get it? good. now get it right!

-daylight savings time is stupid, archaic and must be destroyed. fall back an hour, spring forward an hour. stand upside down on your head. stick your thumb up your ass. what wouldn't those farmers do for an extra hour of daylight for their crops? better yet, who fucking cares? agriculture has been taken over by agro-corporations like ADM and ConAgra. i'm almost 100% certain they've figured out how to grow and harvest crops in the sunlight provided during NORMAL calendar days. thankfully, my clocks automatically adjust because they change DST every damn year (kinda like chanukkah and passover, but without the gifts or the crappy food) and i can't keep it straight. the only purpose it serves is to add 2 days of the year where i'm even more confused than normal. and to think, the only people that understand how backwards this is live in states like indiana and arizona--the beacons of intellect.

-college sports fans MUST stop rushing the field or court when their team wins a meaningless game. it's a fairly recent trend; i'd guess it started within the past 5 years. every big highlight i can remember--nc state over houston, bc over miami, colorado over michigan (i still fucking hate you kordell stewart. i'll never forgive you for that)--all of these great highlights showed the team members celebrating amongst themselves after the victory. but recently, any upset, at any time of the year is grounds for the student section to pour on the field of play and celebrate a crowning achievement. and it's ridiculous. there's an old saying taught to athletes competing in the limelight, "act like you've been there before." so, act like you've won before....even if you're rutgers.

New Rule....We The People

New Rule:

Politicians must know the actual form of government of the country they intend to run.

for the last 4 years i've been dying waiting for the next presidential election to arrive. i've been eagerly awaiting--as most of us have--the chance to finally bid a less than fond farewell to the resident retard-in-chief and get on with the business of not having the world hate us.

and then i started watching tv coverage of this campaign season and i remembered oh so vividly just why i hate politicians of all stripes with such a passion. none of them even know what they're running for.

for nearly 8 years, we've been spoonfed metric tons worth of bullshit about the need to spread democracy throughout the world. perhaps it'd have been wise to start here at home, seeing as how we're not even a democracy. yet, the talking head politicos are more than content to parrot the phrase over and over.

you see, democracy comes from the greek "demokratia," meaning "rule of the people." when, exactly, was the last time our people actually ruled? when, pray tell, was the last time the will of the people was fully and duly enforced by our government? my guess would be sometime shortly after the country was founded and not a moment thereafter.

we are a constitutional republic, perhaps even a democratic republic. but we are not a democracy. in a true democracy, there are no leaders because everyone is a leader. each citizen's voice is heard and carries equal weight. in our constitutional republic, the only voices heard are of those who pay the most money and buy their way into the limelight.

make no mistake. i'll be voting in this election for the least of the evils available. but my resentment and distrust of politicians has hit a crescendo. it bothers me to no end that they can bash each other up until the general election and then support one another like bestest friends forever. but i am robbed of any faith i may once have had in any of them when not one--not the war hero, not the former first lady, not the skinny kid with the funny name--can accurately describe the makeup and governmental order of our own country.

hail to the oligarchal chief.

Take off your Mitts

so, another republican presidential candidate is gone. yay. Mitt from the Mitten bailed on his bid for the white house after sinking about $35 million of his own dough into his campaign. i love seeing rich white guys like him fail. (aside: did you see the video of him pandering to black kids, complimenting their "bling bling?" rated super highly on the unintentional comedy scale).

but the funniest thing to me about this--other than the republicans are now depending on Father Time to win the oval office--is how quickly politicians on both sides of the aisle will reverse course once their 15 minutes are up.

in every campaign, whether for a local or state seat, the governor's chair, or a party nom for the presidency, the candidates lob insults at one another and paint each other in the worst light possible....even though they're from the same party.

Mr. Mormon Mitt from the Mitten went so far as to call old man mccain "virtually indistinguishable" from billary and obamamama. he went further to state that in any race involving a republican parading as a democrat (mcplain) and a democrat (billary and obamamama), the democrat would win every time.

despite this, upon realizing that he'd not last to fulfill joseph smith's vision of running the country, romney bailed from the race and promptly threw his allegiance, and endorsement as it were, behind mccain simply because he had an "R" behind his name.

politicians have no shame. and in this particular race, the one that has seen the most amount of money ever spent by candidates, each flip flop, every waver and a singular hesitation is magnified. the Man Who Would Be "Glove" succumbed to the pressure of the microscope and retreated the friendly confines of his political party room. billary and obamamama will surely do the same.

ahhh, democracy.

Keepin' it real

congratulations to the nation's first hip-hop mayor, king kwame, for keepin' it real. KB, you've held on to your ghetto fabulousness throughout a term and a half. it's so great to see you keepin' up your ways. you gots a rep to uphold.



DEEEEEETROOOIT

Sticks and Stones

seems lately words have gained significant strength in their abilities to send people a-fluttering and set them up in arms. i call it the pussification of america. the old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me" has gone by the wayside just as quickly as the venerable golden rule.

these days, everyone is offended by everything, people say stupid shit to get a rise out of the people who are offended by everything, and then offer a half-assed "apology" because the people who are offended by everything complained just enough that the offender or his/her employer comes under just the right amount of heat.

dana jacobson of espn has been disciplined for her "insensitive and vulgar" remarks about the university of notre dame.....made at a fucking ROAST! and of course kelly tilghman was suspended for two weeks for saying that other golfers should want to lynch tiger woods in a back alley so they can win. ya know, 'cause ms. tilghman is a racist who wants nothing more than to string "nigras" up in trees.

jon caldara, a local radio guy on 850 KOA in boulder has come under tremendous fire for using the term "bitch-slap." progressnowaction, a super-duper liberal activist group (and presumably comprised of WASP-Y/JAP-y housewives) has begun an online petition to coerce the host to apologize. naturally, the conservative host has refused and i, for one, think--gulp--he's right.

bitch slap is a fairly common term nowadays. you hear it all over tv, in the movies and in song lyrics. and it wasn't even directed truly at one person as an insult to his/her manhood/womanhood/character. the term was used to describe the beatdown hillary got from obama in the most recent Dem debate. now, this is not to say using such a term--particularly on public radio--is proper or condoned in anyway, but to express such outrage over a non-racial, hardly misogynistic term is borderline ludicrous. surely there are better ways to exert energy and more worthy causes of justice to be pursued by progressactionnow....

....like lambasting john gibson, a talking head a fox "news," for his indescribably heartless, callous and generally indefensible comments about the death of heath ledger. i'm certainly not one to mourn the death of a celebrity for more than a passing "eh, that sucks. i can't believe it," but even i am appalled by mr. gibson's unrelenting inability to be tasteful and tactful. sure, he's a fox-style conservative (to hate for the sake of hatred), but even he must be able to separate the actor--who had a family--from the gay cowboy character he once portrayed...3 YEARS AGO.

the constant give and take of offendees and offenders has exploded in recent years. i always cringe when i hear my elders talking about the "good ole days," since most of the stuff they had back then sucked. but the one thing they did have back then that today's society has an epic lack of is a thick skin.

it used to be that someone would say something mildly offensive, and he'd be passed off as a bigot or a moron. today, even the slightest hint of un-pc, potentially offensive-if-taken-a-certain-way material will elicit a flood of unnecessary outrage from oversensitive pansies with far too much time on their hands. thank you, tiger woods, for manning up and showing that insensitive remarks are only insensitive if you're overly sensitive to begin with. sticks and stones make break my bones, but your words make you a douche bag.

New Rules

thanks to the magic of OnDemand from Con ass, i was able last night to catch the season premier of real time with bill maher that i'd missed last friday. the set was new, the jokes were old and the panel was its normal self. but the show, the show wasn't quite the same. i'm guessing it has something to do with (if not everything) this whole "writers want to get paid" thing, but there was a glaring absence at the end of the show....no "New Rules."

NR was, hands down, my favorite part of billy boy's show week in and week out. now it's been replaced with a segment called "blogga, please," which if you couldn't tell is some lame spoof on n*gga please (i hate writing the word. the * makes everything better, just ask barry). it was also dumb. the segment is an email version of a call-in show, where viewers can send in questions to the panelists or bill himself. needless to say, people with keyboards are dangerously stupid.

i miss NR and hope it makes a return when the writers get their shit squared away with the man. in the meantime, i guess that means that i'm free to use NR as my own without fear of repercussions. hehe. ya know, cuz HBO execs and bill himself read RAOG religiously. how else do you think they write the show? duh.

as always, blogo-friends, suggestions are always welcomed.

In the News

i read the news today, oh boy.

and really, it's the same shit with different titles. a lesser man would be discouraged by all this. not me. i find the subtle humor, ridiculousness and, often, irony in the news regardless of the source.

in the news today, marion jones, the olympic champion, is going to jail for check fraud and perjury. the check fraud case is just dumb. i would guess that with endorsement money and purse winnings, jones was doing okay for herself. naturally, that wasn't enough, so she wanted to cheat people out of cash. stupid. but the perjury charge? that's just gold. like others in her profession, marion lied to cover up her cheating. and her excuse? you guessed it, she made a "mistake."

in the imaginary interview i had with marion jones, i asked her which part was the mistake: accidentally falling onto the steroid needle? mistakenly winning gold medal after gold medal, meet after meet, and earning endorsement contracts? lying about lying, and then lying some more? or was the mistake that she just got caught? and just as you'd suspect, she did it all to "protect her family." of course. those poor souls would just be devastated if they'd known they were related to a fraudulent lying cheater.

on the news today...our weather is wicked cold. like chicago cold. makes me wanna pack my shit and head to phoenix (only to complain how much i hate it there once i arrived) or LA. some place warm. but hell, it's winter. it's supposed to be cold. so why do the newscasts insist on putting one of their "meteorologists" outside to report that it's cold when i could just as easily open my front door and find out for myself? or, like when they post a reporter roadside to tell us that the road conditions aren't great. i know i'm routinely shocked to find out that the roads are slippery after it's snowed and when the temperatures are sub-freezing. of course, i'm simultaneously amused by this as well since half of the newscasts these days already report shit we already know (smoking is bad for you, bad foods make you fat, etc.). high comedy, indeed.

lastly, apparently teacher absenteeism hurts learning. i'm pretty sure that in a million years, i'd never have figured that out. groundbreaking, truly.

New Year, Same Me

i seriously just realized, literally 10 seconds before beginning to write this, that i haven't posted anything in 2008 and figured that that's a pretty heartless thing to do to my (ever growing) fan base. only problem is, i really don't have much to write about, since nothing in my world at the moment is actually set in stone, much like last year.

there's the possibility of moving to pittsburgh. there's a chance i'll get accepted to CU and stay in colorado to go to school. there's a chance, now that our VP of new business is leaving due to medical concerns (good luck, O) that i'll be made director of new business and client services. there's a chance that if that promotion were to happen that there'd also be a nice raise, an added commission structure, and possibly a quarterly bonus system on top of that.

i have a stress echocardiogram slated for friday morning. so, there's a chance that this time around there'll be no "there was a slight abnormality we should keep an eye on." next week i have my interview at CU-Boulder (and i have to wear a suit? ew), so there's a chance i'll nail that one just like i did thunderbird and pittsburgh.

and i'm playing soccer again (finally), so of course, there's a good chance that the injury bug will bite me again soon and said maladies will begin a pilin' up on my old creakin' bones. but it's totally worth it. possibly.

anyway, welcome to the new year everyone. may it be filled with different and better experiences and more possibilities than the last. it's possible mine will.